Gold, titanium and whale penis.

2103 Dartz Black Snake

2103 DARTZ Black Snake

There’s always something in the news that makes me go WTF?? and today was no exception. Sometimes I think I need to turn off ‘google alerts’.  But then I might miss little gems like this one. Isn’t this a beauty?  The Black Snake. A new luxury vehicle from DARTZ.  Got a cool million or so and this could be yours.  I mean seriously, who wouldn’t want to be behind the wheel of this pretty baby?

I was looking at the pictures, drooling over my laptop and reading about the endless opulent options. Golden flourishes, gold leaf hood, diamond Kristall hood ornament, shark skin floor mats, snake wood dashboard and your choice of luxury leather seats in either snake, crocodile belly, ostrich or whale penis.  And…wait….whale penis???? Really??  Nothing like having an extra conversation piece in your vehicle.  I can hear it now.

Me:  Hop in, I’ll give you a lift.

Mom:  Ohhh, nice.  Feel these seats.  So soft and supple.  Feels like a cushy warm cocoon.

Me:  That’ll be the whale penis. Very expensive you know.

Mom:  What?  Whale what?

Me:  Whale penis.

Mom:  Did you say whale penis?  I’m sitting on whale penis?

Me:  Yes, whale penis.  I could have gone with the snake.  But everyone has snake.  Whale penis is much more exotic don’t you think?

Mom:  Stop the car please, I’ll walk.  I am not sitting on whale penis.

Maybe I should go for the crocodile.  After I make my first billion.